Freedom within the body

Last year I went out for brunch with my husband. A midweek day date, as we loved to do on occasion. It wasn’t long after we sat down that I started to feel really different. Not easy to put into words, but I felt so connected to absolutely EVERYTHING. The music playing at the restaurant, the taste of the food, the joy and genuine kindness of the server, the floral print of the wallpaper, the comfort of my husband’s hand I was holding.  It was all so simple and so beautiful. The ‘quintessence’ of it all. I felt so incredibly alive and free and it was like this whole new world of possibility opened up to me and my senses. As if before that moment I had only ever known life as shades of grey, and all of a sudden I could see all the colour.

For years leading up to that day, I had been moving through some deep mutations within myself, catalyzed by a series of miscarriages and the eventual natural births of my two beautiful children. Without warning, I had been catapulted onto a path of remembering who I am, realigning with my heart and its vision.  A re-balancing act of restoring, rewiring, and reconnecting my nervous system, de-conditioning and releasing programming of all the things I am not. All while anchoring into the truth of who I am and finding the strength and courage to actually embody it in this world.

It has not been easy. turbulent at times. an inward battle between my true self and the deeply embedded programs of fear and victim lodged within my system. It felt like I was in a massive dark hole filled with thick, sticky tar. I often didn’t know how I would get out. On some days I would fight it, on others I would choose to believe and trust that one day I would, AND be able to see the of point it all.

The little aches and pains that I had leading up to this time, eventually turned into chronic pain, brain fog, fatigue, overwhelm. I distracted myself through searching for new ways, for answers for people “like me”. I learned to get cozy with all the buried emotions and trauma that I didn’t even know were there this whole time. So much sadness, fear, grief, loss, rage, frustration, anger. Built up over a lifetime, lifetimes, lineages.

Despite the challenges, there was always the presence of this soft voice inside of me that knew I just had to find safety in it all, to allow myself to feel, to be with it. I gradually begin to collect parts of myself that I had once separated from and chose to find purpose and value it in all. To learn forgiveness and find grace. To open my heart again, and learn the beauty in keeping it wide open in the presence of light AND dark. To understand it, to know it and embody it through my own lived experiences. And to find the gift.

To come back to your power, sovereignty, and heart, takes going within. The world is full of support, and I believe there is no right path, but at the end of the day, it all comes down to you choosing you. No one is going to rescue you, or fix you, because the truth is you were never broken. You just forgot who you are. This was a tough truth for me to swallow when I had been living in a victim state as long as I could remember, conditioned to give away my power away over and over again to people, places, and events, outside of me. To try and fill my perceived “holes” and wounds, with something or someone outside of me. And continue to dance within the codependent, victim/rescuer/fixer world we all live in.

It feels like we all do this dance, aware of it or not, until we eventually get tired and sick of it, and choose otherwise.

I don't know exactly what shifted within me that day, but it was a day, not long after I took a chance on me and took action on creating Quantum Roots. I eventually got out of my own way, found the gifts buried deep within that hole screaming to come out, and took action on no longer hiding who I am. I started to see myself as part of this entire ecosystem that surrounds us, the seen, the unseen, all of it. No longer separated.  All interwoven and connected, in this beautiful biodiverse ecosystem and planet we are so insanely lucky to be a part of.

It took me a while to make that choice. To take action, and chose me. I’m so glad I did.

There are too many of us hiding our gifts. our genius. buried underneath a world of chaos and disconnect. Too many of us living a life from a program of should and must, living life robotically from a lens that is far from our heart’s desires. Feeling stuck and unfulfilled.

Make the choice. book the appointment. invest in yourself. get the support. begin to unravel.

It will always be worth it. You are worth it.  And this world really needs YOU.

Xx Whitney